I am back in my hometown for the week. It has been nice to see old faces, but I hate the question "so what are you doing with your life?" How do you explain to people that you now live in intentional community and have taken a substantial pay cut? ... It's harder than you would think. Most people you bump into only want a 5 minute conversation, and explaining intentional community takes at least 15 minutes...without taking a breath, hence why I have been trying to avoid people.
I did, however, slip into Barnes & Noble for some R&R...reading and refocus. I found an empty chair near the kids books (I figured I wouldn't be bumping into too many people there) and proceeded to read from C.S. Lewis' "The World's Last Night, " a book lifted from the increasingly smaller section of Christian Inspiration. The first essay was written about the Efficacy of Prayer. It was a lot to think about, especially after my prior musings about why people use prayer like it's a slot machine. Throwing quarters in, and hoping for a good outcome. C.S. Lewis must have thought the same thing because he said:
"For up till now we have been tackling the whole question in the wrong way and on the wrong level. The very question “Does prayer work?” puts us in the wrong frame of mind from the outset. “Work”: as if it were magic, or a machine—something that functions automatically. Prayer is either a sheer illusion or a personal contact between embryonic, incomplete persons (ourselves) and the utterly concrete Person. Prayer in the sense of petition, asking for things, is a small part of it; confession and penitence are its threshold, adoration its sanctuary, the presence and vision and enjoyment of God its bread and wine. In it God shows Himself to us. That He answers prayers is a corollary—not necessarily the most important one—from that revelation. What He does is learned from what He is.
I like how Lewis works out the dimensions of prayer. I particularly like the last part about the enjoyment of God being the bread and wine. There are two reasons I like this analogy.The first is because the way you drink wine. You drink it slow, in order to get the full effect of the alcohol dancing around. Secondly, much of the reason for drinking wine is for the benefits. Wine has certain compounds that neutralize the negative effects that digestion has on the body. So like wine, my prayers aren't just hitting the ceiling, they are perhaps neutralizing the negative effects of my selfish heart and mind. Prayer is keeping things in perspective, lending itself to the created being connected to the creator.
A note to myself.
No more slot machine prayers Emily. No more crossing your fingers hoping you get your way. Pray in a manner that invites Him in. Savor the moments with your Father.
